How you Gonna Cook Crack When You Can't Even Cook Breakfast

Fetty What?

I download the US and UK Top 100 every now and then to find out what will be playing on Australian stations in six months. It’s an interesting study to compare both countries but it’s fair to say the US is country heavy, but it never makes the top 30, and the UK is dance floor heavy.

What I don’t get is this man called Fetty Wap. He dominated the top 20 in October and I’ve barely heard of him.

Drake, Kanye, Selena, love you. Know you. Justin and Taylor yes you’re OK. Wouldn't kick you out of bed but not overly keen.

The Weeknd, knew you’d be massive since your first hit. Love.

Fetty “how you gonna cook crack when you can't even cook breakfast” - where did you come from? And where did you get your name? And why do you and your Remy boys spend so much time in your songs cooking pies and crack? It's very interesting and makes for good music.

According to the internet, young Willie Maxwell was born in 1991, grew up in surburban New Jersey and decided to become a rapper and call himself Fetty, which means money. So far, so normal.

I like him. He sounds like a mix between Drake, Kanye and Jeremih. I love the originality of his beats.

He’s been cosigned by Kanye and is a rapidly  rising star.

He is sure to win either Best New Artist or Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Artist at the American Music Awards. I’d go for both.

Endings and Beginnings

It's been about a year since I touched this blog site. It is now top of page two when you Google "best brothel Sydney" which is interesting since my blog was supposed to be about parenting and kids, not brothels. I clearly digressed, then abandoned my blog, like so many before me.

Such a cliche. To get you up to speed on what I've been doing for the past 1-2 years, I had another baby, a boy, again by Csection in a public hospital. This was liberating and fun as I had so many pain killers, my family visited me every day taking me for wheelchair rides and my room had ocean views. Best of all, I kissed my two year old good bye and she was taken home by her dad to read about The Wild Things and enact the book.

Why Kim and Kanye are a Perfect Match

Our new king+queen of popular kultcha

The KnK publicity factory may be gearing up for another wedding season, or at the very least a baby announcement in about 3 months. And I think this is fantastic news.

Why? Because I know both sides of this KnK lurve story. I have been a huge fan of both Kanye and Kim and their families for years - and it's clear they are a great couple. It's also obvious they have been flirting for years but that for those funny forces behind love to work they had to engage with others before they could see their perfect partner right in front of them - wearing matching leather pants to boot.

Yeah I admit it, both are narcissists, both are in love with themselves and their image. But to dismiss this new king and queen of pop culture on that basis is to ignore the immense power they wield as a couple and to deny their respective family and cultural backgrounds which sees them perfectly matched.

They have a lot in common. Success in work and life, working ethic, material wealth, spiritual beliefs and strong family values. Both have lost their same sex parent - Kanye his mother and Kim her father. They have both been very deeply influenced by this loss, and supportive and protective of their remaining parent.

Both have had a long hard 15 year slug on the love front, including at least one failed marriage each under their Vuitton belts. Or as I prefer to call a marriage that didn't pan out, a 'relationship education' rather than a failure.

And yes, it is true, they both adore designer brands and probably spend an hour looking at themselves in the mirror before going out. But more interestingly, both dictate culture and start and finish trends. Both are style icons, both have their own multiple fashion labels, both are business experts, and both are publicity royalty. KnK are not only trendsetters, they are cultural signifiers, the ones we look to for messages about this uber fluid post modernist multiple reality culture we are living in.

And this is why I am so excited about their new sexual and commercial partnership and this is why I hope it blooms into a family empire, creating a new generation of babies: little girls dressed in Prada rapping to dad's Gorgeous, little boys playing with cousin Mason and helping stock the family's retail empire.

Both the West and Kardashian families have the same values. Success, hard work and self promotion play big roles. But the central player is family and this is synonymous with business values: loyalty, self confidence, support and love. Big love. For years we have seen Kanye popping into Kim' New York Dash store, helping with colour choices and attending drinks. Kim flirting with him. But it took Kim's attempt at marriage with a white boy who was so poorly suited to her for the two of them to finally get it together.

One more comment before I post again in a month to congratulate them on their impending parenthood. How did I know Kim's um, second husband Kris was glaringly unsuited to both Kim and the extended Kardashian klan? It wasn't just that his name was the same as her mothers, or actions and attitude, which did say a lot - especially his disgust when Kim cried over a lost diamond earring in Tahiti. It wasn't only that Khloe disapproved, which Kim should have paid attention to as she is an impeccable judge of character. (Khloe BTW wholly approves of this new partnership).

It was husband #2 Kris's comment to the Kardashian men during a male bonding golf game shortly before The Wedding. He expressed his disdain for their subjugation to their females, or less politely, his being unimpressed they were pussy whipped. I wish Kim had been there at the time, but probably she would have ignored it, like all the other warning signs, because she had a big wedding in her sights, and a baby, two things on her upcoming agenda she had made a space for mentally. Just not emotionally.

So I wish the new couple, who I already knew would get together years ago, much happiness. They clearly bring out the best in each other and Kanye reportedly makes Kim less boring, which is fantastic! And I can't wait for the baby news in a short while...

Like a Thief in the Night

Rihanna is the only girl this sexy.

Isn't this all any woman wants? Like Rhianna asks, to be entered like a "thief in the night"?
Or, as her next line goes, does the modern woman want to be "Held Like A Pillow"?
Are these two desires mutually opposing, or happily complementary? Isn't this all anyone really wants? To feel like "the only girl in the world" and for you to "last all night"?

And where on earth are they living for Drake to suggest he can do things to her in 20 minutes while waiting for the traffic: where on earth does the city traffic take 20 minutes to clear? Hobart? They clearly aren't in Sydney where the traffic takes 2 hours to clear and the radio would not be considered appropriate foreplay, not with Kyle Sandilands at large.

On a darker note, according to pop culturalist Dr Carr-Gregg, watching film clips by that "skank" Rihanna or the Pussycat dolls will lower a girl's self esteem markedly. This is shocking to me, because when i watch Rihanna, usually at the gym, I feel extremely joyful and proud. I see a strong powerful woman. I see a woman in charge of her own sexuality. I mean, no one was out there says how dangerous Borat was to young bois sense of self esteem, were they? 

Or more seriously, noone says the sexiness of Kanye and Neyo in film clips is causing an crises in Our Young Men. No. Noone said that. Because it's patently untrue. I'm sure if boys look up and see Kanye cavorting around with his gals they probably think good on him, and I hope I get to be like that one day. Or more likely, what a wanker.
It's the same for girls. When I see Rhianna performing a lap dance for a fan I think wow, she's fantastic, what a great dancer. And her voice is out of this world. I actually think she's the most talented female vocalist of our era. Maybe I also think "it would be nice to be that girl she's dancing with". But does my self esteem take a shot? No. No, it does not.

I am a grown woman, and these film clips are meant for me. Not for ten year olds and I admit they are rather pornographic. I guess it would be a bit exciting to see Rhianna give a lap dance if you were only 12. But upsetting? Confidence shattering? Causing you to start starving yourself? I hope not! I'll be using clips as a tool for teaching my daughter how to dance, or how to make a short film, as they should be used.

Dr Carr-Gregg believes increases in eating disorders, anxiety and depression in teenage girls are linked to raunch culture. I'd say it's linked to growing up in a cultural vacuum like the northern beaches of Sydney, but that's just me...