Mothers Prayer for her Daughter

Already the mother of Alice and Penelope, motherhood is very much on the comedienne's mind. So now we bring you this excerpt from Tina Fey's book, Bossypants:

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it's the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach's eye, not the the Beauty.

Opening Up

A lot of people have a lot of questions about open marriage.

In order to avoid going into too much mind numbing detail, I will offer a simple analogy.

Bad behaviour and lolly bags

3D lolly bag before the unfortunate indicent

This weekend I left the lolly bag on the car roof as I strapped my daughter into her seat after a four year old party.

Every time I place something on the roof I simultaneously warn myself I'm going to forget it. Then I do. The petrol cap, a porcelain plate and cake, lunchboxes and children's clothing have all come the raw prawn these past few months.

Last week I left the remote control of a fantastic toy car on the roof, losing both the device and the car's purpose. It didn't even belong to me, I had borrowed it from my mum.

Show us your Tits

I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like a bit of a creep when a mother is breastfeeding nearby. I look anywhere but her, avoiding all eye contact and generally give her a wide berth. If a women starts breastfeeding next to me at playgroup I'll find a reason to get up and move.

I wonder why it makes me so uncomfortable, and I know I'm not the only one who feels like this, given that men and non mothers probably feel even more ill at ease when  a woman does something we've been trained for decades not to do: pulls out her tits in public.

Regrets of Parents

Who needs Huggies to swim?

What!? No one regrets a baby!? Want to bet - this kid sure grew up feeling like a mistake.

Then along comes the Huggies survey of parents, saying two thirds of parents regret stuff about raising their children. I have to say I'm kind of shocked at the large amount of parents regretting things, and the long list of regrets, none of which I identify with. 

End of Summer and the Stalker comes out

The salt has dried. Broken glass litters dirt tracks leading to the beach. Sand is all over the floor. The lipstick in my car has melted and reformed over 100 times. Sydney's long hot summer has come to an abrupt end. Goodbye endless 45C degree days, fish and chips at sunset and three swims a day. Now that I'm getting used to the feel of clothes on my body again, I've reentered the world of blogging and intend to post a few things every month.

Endings and Beginnings

It's been about a year since I touched this blog site. It is now top of page two when you Google "best brothel Sydney" which is interesting since my blog was supposed to be about parenting and kids, not brothels. I clearly digressed, then abandoned my blog, like so many before me.

Such a cliche. To get you up to speed on what I've been doing for the past 1-2 years, I had another baby, a boy, again by Csection in a public hospital. This was liberating and fun as I had so many pain killers, my family visited me every day taking me for wheelchair rides and my room had ocean views. Best of all, I kissed my two year old good bye and she was taken home by her dad to read about The Wild Things and enact the book.